Your work is behind schedule and the boss is not happy. Now it is time to go home and we feel the stress of the schedule. On the way home we think of our family and we wonder what we might face as we walk through the door.  We then wonder if we can get any relief from anywhere. But we realize we did not sign up to be a parent if we did not plan on doing any parenting. After all, our family is waiting to see us and we need to greet them in a way that will leave a positive impact on them and on us.

If long office hours make it tough for you to be an effective parent, try these ideas to ease the stress on you, your spouse and your children.

Phone Time: Don't use the phone to scold children or remind them of chores or homework to be done. Phone calls should be used to let children - not you - unload hurt feelings or fears. Use phone time to tell an amusing story about your workday. Or let the children tell you about an important happening during their day.

Coming Home: Get rid of your stress before walking through the door at night. Take a walk before going in. Or stop at the supermarket on your way home. Remember, the first few minutes that you are home sets the tone for your whole evening. Don't begin by barking orders or scolding your children.

Kids at Work: Take your children to work once in a while if possible. If they don't know anything about your work, they may grow to resent it.  To get them involved, find a small project, such as stuffing envelopes or collating a report that they can help you with.

Time Together: Remember that children enjoy consistency - so try to establish at least one ritual they can look forward to. Consider one evening a week where you limit meetings or phone calls and you spend time playing games or working on a family project.

Your family is an extension of who you are. Taking care of them is taking care of you. Jesus said in Matthew 22:39 to “love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Your family is your closest neighbor so take care of them. If you neglect yourself you are neglecting them and if you neglect them you are neglecting yourself.

Rev. L. John Engelbrecht, M.A., is a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in New York and a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in Vermont. He is the counselor at Adirondack Christian Counseling Service, 113 Meadowbrook Road, Queensbury, NY  12804, with an office in Lake Placid, NY. 1-518-793-4187.