In the current issue of Outdoor Life, there is a cover story entitled “Top 200 Towns for Hunters & Anglers.” The list looks like a Rand McNally road atlas for Wyoming, Utah, Montana and Colorado. 

However, New York State has six towns in the list.  The top New York town listed, coming in at 64th on the overall list is…….Oswego. 

Oswego?  Do you believe it?  Yep! There it is sandwiched between Mobridge, South Dakota and Panama City, Florida.  Oswego, the most attractive town in New York State for hunting and fishing!  You’ve got to be kidding me.

Now, had you told me that Oswego was listed among places having the most depressing snow fall days of anywhere in the United States or for having the crumbiest downtown area of any town containing living humans or a town to send kids to college in hopes they never return, I could buy it.  But to be the top town in New York for hunting and fishing?  Come on, who made this list?

Here’s a clue as to who might have had a hand in it.  I think it was Chucky Schumer and Ms. Hillary.  Why?  Remember their pledge to bring jobs to upstate New York.  Take a look at this list.  Second town listed in New York, coming in at number 136, is Cornwall.  The last list Cornwall was ever on was a list George Washington carried around in his pocket to remind him of places he slept.

Next is Gloversville.  Gloversville!  Cowhide country where George’s boots were made.  Next is Port Jervis at 172 followed by Ithaca at 175 and finally Utica at 196.  Ithaca and Utica?

Does this not look like a list concocted up by some delusional politician looking for votes?  The last thing hunted in Ithaca was some old dried up Italian like me who could make a real honest to goodness Brooklyn pizza and the last fish seen in Ithaca had a note stuffed in its mouth when it was pulled out of the canal attached to a cinder block attached to it’s tail.

Now, I’ve traveled throughout the United States both for pleasure and for business since I was very young.  I have slept in all but one state, North Dakota, and I can tell you that there are towns contained in this list that, well you just can’t get to from here…..or from just about anywhere for that matter.

Number one on the list is Mountain Home, Arkansas.  Come on! Do you really expect me to believe there’s a place called Mountain Home?  There is also Payette, Idaho and Tillamook, Oregon and Yreka, California and Vincennes, Illinois.  There are some on this list that I can’t even spell when I’m looking at them.  How in the world would I ever get to them to kick back and enjoy the fishing and hunting?

What is it that you hunt in Valentine, Nebraska?  Corn stalks?  What kind of fish do you catch in Rhinelander, Wisconsin?  Oh! I remember now, it’s those round yellow smelly fish that come with sharp teeth.  The cheddar fish I think there’re called.  Or was it the Munster fish?  I always get those two mixed up, don’t you?

On the cover of the magazine, it also says that, included with the Top 200 list, there is a listing of the “10 Whitetail Supertowns!”  I never did find this sub-list.  I’m sure it was there, but it was so difficult to distinguish just 10 towns from such a power packed list of 200.  By the time I got to trying to determine which were the 10 Supertowns, I was flat warn out and the pages in my atlas where falling on the floor.  So, I gave up the hunt (no pun intended) and decided that I would just take the word of the magazine that they really exist.

So, I’ve changed my plans for the rest of this year.  My wife and I are now planning a destination trip to Oswego with a brief stop over in Gloversville and if we have time, we might just pop on down to Ithaca to check out the flight of the Cornellian dove flocks.

See you outdoors!