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A young friend of ours has been spending weekends this summer wearing himself out filling bags and cans with yard trash for the town pickup once a week. Frustrated and weary (not to mention sweaty and cranky) he sat down one afternoon and turned the problem into a piece of practical, common sense that goes something like this: If I decide to fill just three trash cans at one time, when the limit is reached I can stop doing yard work for the day. Then I can read a book, call for a pizza or take a drive.
I am intrigued by his Trash Can Philosophy and have tried to incorporate it into my own daily chores. It hasn’t been easy for a multitasker who has spent a lifetime starting off each day with a mental or written list of things to do… that cannot possibly be accomplished in 24 hours! Why do we continue to equate the accomplishment of tasks as a measure of worth? We are retired, we have no clocks to punch, no supervisor’s deadline to meet, yet we set unattainable expectations for ourselves on a daily basis. And most days end with disappointment that we did not finish the myriad tasks we laid out for ourselves. For many of us the drive to always have something to show for the day is genetic, or so it seems. My 90-year-old mother still manages to recite a litany of the things she has done during the day when we speak on the telephone. It is as though she must account for her every moment on this earth. At our age we should be past trying to keep up with anyone or anyone else’s expectations, especially those of our own established years ago. You know how it goes: “The desserts I serve are always made from scratch.” “I do all my own car maintenance.” “I still hang my sheets out to dry even in winter.” “My front lawn is the best in the neighborhood.”
These expectations are all valid and honorable in themselves until they create stress rather than joy. Instead of disappointing yourself, reward yourself. Set a reasonable expectation. For example, to reorganize your bookshelves, start with one shelf a day. When you complete reorganizing that one shelf, reward yourself. Give yourself an hour to read or to write notes to dear friends you have not seen in a long time or to treat yourself to a walk in the park. It’s okay to set limits instead of breakneck goals. According to the U.S. Census Bureau in 2005, 81 percent of people over 65 years of age owned their own homes. That statistic suggests that a significant percentage of us still have responsibility for all that goes with home ownership. Owning one's home is something to be proud of, as long as it brings joy and not stress. You can walk away from the stress of insisting that you must maintain the same standards you met 20 or even 40 years ago. No one is suggesting you become less industrious. Rather that you acknowledge limitations and plan for them in order to maintain your health and well-being. The only rewards are those you will provide for yourself, small or large. We often find ourselves too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. The Trash Can Philosophy is worth serious consideration. Set a limit to what you can and want to accomplish at any given time. When you reach that goal reward yourself, seize the moment and make your life extraordinary. As William Saroyan wrote in the forward to his play, The Time of Your Life… “In the time of your life, live.” |
